"A New Me" Blog

Is it wrong to come right out and ask for healing? I want so very much to ask for healing—without treatment. Sometimes, it seems selfish to pray for myself, for big or little things. It all seems big right now. I think about Peter walking on the water. One minute he thinks he can, and the next minute his […]

I’m gathering as much information as I can. In fact the research is wearing me out. I know this is an effort to feel like I have some control at a time when I feel out of control. Maybe, God is teaching me to turn over the controls. One time, during a sermon the pastor suggested putting the following […]

It’s an effort to make any decision at all. How can I make a treatment decision when I can’t even figure out whether or not to take a shower, what clothes to put on, what to have for breakfast? I can’t seem to make the effort to do the things that used to bring me joy. Call a […]

Life would be so much easier if I had a disease that dictated one method of treatment and only one. Then the doctors would all agree: you must do this specific thing at this specific time. They say that. The trouble is they each want to treat me the way they think this tumor should […]

Another doctor appointment. It seems like doctor appointments are a way of life right now. I wrote down all the questions I could think of for this appointment. Right there is a problem. What if I’m not thinking of the very question that might help the most? Surgeons insist surgery is the cure for acoustic neuromas. Radiation […]

I have so much to be thankful for. I often forget to say “thanks” – both to God and family and friends who love me. I need to accept their love and support. I need to say thank you more often. I want to be a better friend. That means listen more and not give advice unless asked. […]

I am so thankful I went to the support group meeting. I really dreaded going, but felt a nudge that it was the thing to do. I thought everyone would be moaning and groaning about how rough and tough life has been. Not so. It lifted my spirits to meet these people. They care about the “newbies” and want […]

Why did this happen to me? What will happen to me? Is my tumor growing? Do I really need treatment? If so, radiation or surgery? Which doctor? Where? Can my prayers and the prayers of others make a difference? I’m so thankful for courage to talk to the doctor about prayer. He told me about a study he had just […]

I hope that somewhere deep within me I’m not trying to help others as a way of saying, “Hey, if I’m doing these neat things for other people, doesn’t that count = buy me time?” Yes, I admit it. I want time. Well, in one way I want time. Sometimes I don’t. I could die in a car […]

This morning I didn’t want to get out of bed. My life feels like a deflated balloon. I want to fly and am not sure I will be able to walk when I put my feet on the floor. Will I get dizzy today? When I do get up, I can’t seem to decide what to eat or what […]