Step #8  Energy

This morning I didn’t want to get out of bed. My life feels like a deflated balloon. I want to fly and am not sure I will be able to walk when I put my feet on the floor. Will I get dizzy today?

When I do get up, I can’t seem to decide what to eat or what to put on. Each decision overwhelms me. I’m not hungry but know I should eat something. Nothing appeals except the sweet stuff. I finally eat, get dressed, and then can’t figure out what to do next.

All the research is exhausting. Sure you can have surgery and get the tumor out of your head, so you don’t have to think about it sitting there. Is it growing? If the surgeon leaves a few cells to avoid damaging the nerve, those cells can grow.

Radiation is also a possibility. I’m learning about gamma radiation, cyberknife, and fractionated stereotatic radiotherapy.

Wait and watch (with MRI’s) is also an option for small tumors. All treatments can have side effects. And the side effects can be worse than my current symptoms. How will I ever decide about treatment if I can’t even figure out which pair of jeans to put on?

I need a different focus today, to think about someone or something else.

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Readers: What helps you when you feel over-whelmed?

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Dear God,

Help me to meet the needs of someone else today, knowing that will strengthen me somehow. Amen.

He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youth will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-31