#41 Depression

In a previous blog about depression (# 15), I talked about depression resulting from trying to reach a treatment decision. Also, part of the depression resulted from the symptoms of an acoustic neuroma.

Now that I have had treatment, that part of depression is not an issue. So why the depression? I think depression results from a number of things. Anyone of these can be reason alone for causing the “blues.” If you are suffering from depression but it has nothing to do with an acoustic neuroma, the step of thinking about the cause can be important. Why? Because knowing the cause can help determine treatment.

• Depending on the tinnitus level, the ringing in our ears can make us want to pull out our hair. Someone who has never dealt with tinnitus has no idea how difficult it can be. For starters, it makes hearing harder; plus, falling asleep is hard with all the racket going on.
• Brain fog – the above blog (#40) addresses that issue. Brain fog all by itself can be the cause of depression.
• If someone never took naps before their acoustic neuroma and now find (with or without treatment) they need a nap almost every day to function, depression can happen from having to adjust a schedule around naps.
• If balance is a problem, it’s depressing to appear drunk or unstable to others. Here’s an example, say you are in a restaurant and had no alcohol. It’s time to leave and when you get to your feet, the busy pattern on the carpet suddenly throws your brain “off.” Someone watching might figure “too much to drink” not understanding that’s not it at all, With a treated or untreated acoustic neuroma, we often don’t know when the balance might be an issue. Busy patterns or the floor or wall, loud sudden noises, getting bumped into by a child, a bright light, or a lot of motion in the environment are just some of the triggers.
• Single-sided deafness. The hearing aids help, but it sure can be depressing to miss parts of the conversation. It can also be depressing to ask again and again “What?” “What did you say?”
• Lack of understanding. When others look at us and “forget” what we are dealing with, they forget to talk directly to us so we understand more of the words they speak. Others forget their words are sometimes competing with the ugly sound of ringing, buzzing, and chirping.
• We have lost forever our old original self. Sometimes we want to be the person we once were instead of this new me. Accepting a new version of ourselves can be an up and down thing. One day we feel up like I can handle this. It’s okay and I’m okay. Other days we feel like giving up. This new me is more than I can live with. Why can’t someone find a cure for tinnitus? Why can’t someone develop the perfect hearing aid so everything sounds normal again? Why don’t we have a cure for . . .

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Readers: Do you have other reasons for your depression?

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Loving Father,

You are with me no matter what my feelings. We know you understand sorrow. “Jesus wept” is the shortest sentence in the bible. We know you keep track of our tears.

Thanks for your help each day, especially with depression. Amen.

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see right now; rather we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.  2 Corinthians 4:18