# 20 Full Plate

This sounds selfish, but I can only handle so much. Yesterday, when I heard of someone else’s trouble, my reaction stunned me. I wanted so badly to say, “Forget it. Don’t tell me that right now. This isn’t good timing. I can’t deal with anything else.”

Is this what is called “anger”?

My plate is filled to over-flowing with just one thing. This tumor.

Get treatment and get it over with? I bet that’s why some get treatment – thinking that after treatment all will be better and they can get on with life. Trouble is from what I have read, many suffer a whole new set of problems. They have the tumor surgically removed, but have side effects of nerve damage, including loss of hearing, lack of facial animation, eye lid drooping, and dizziness worse than before surgery.

Some have surgery, but the surgeon leaves in a few cells to avoid damage to a nerve. Sometimes in a few years, those cells multiple and require further treatment, either surgery or radiation. Those who have radiation to start with, sometimes have to surgery when the tumor starts to grow.

Acoustic neuromas are crazy tumors and very unpredictable. No one can say what causes tumor growth in the first place, or regrowth.

*****

Readers: Have you experienced anger as a result of illness? How
do you handle it?

*****

Dear God,

Help me to know what I can handle and what to forget.

Help me to know I can pray for others without my plate falling and breaking. Show me where you want me to help and where you can handle it just fine without my help. Amen.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28