A New Me Blog
#21 Crying
Monday, February 3, 2025 by Deb Vellines
My depression must be getting worse. I can’t stop crying.
Some days I don’t seem to feel anything at all – no joy, no grief, no love, no compassion, no nothing. Other days, my emotions overwhelm me. The overwhelming emotions are confusion, sadness, and fear of the unknown.
It amazes me what can cause my tears to flow. And sometimes I don’t even know why I’m crying.
I want to feel like my old self again. That isn’t going to happen because the old self is gone. Forever. I need to accept this fact and accept A New Me. This new me has a tumor that at any time can take my hearing, or throw me off balance, or even snuff out my life if it suddenly grows.
I can’t seem to figure out how to accept this new me. Suicide is not an option. Well, then again it is. No, it isn’t. I will get on with life. With a new life. I will figure out what treatment is best and study where I can get that treatment.
Everyone says you will know a doctor and his or her treatment is the right one when you meet that doctor. So, I guess I just haven’t met the doctor who is right for me.
Maybe that ought to be my prayer at this point.
*****
Readers: Have you ever thought about suicide?
*****
Dear God,
You can lead me to the treatment and doctor who is right for me. I am trying so hard to be in charge of my life. That’s not good. I ask you to take charge and to up my trust.
I am still one of your sheep. No matter what kind of physical or emotional shape I’m in, I still belong to You. That will not change. Forgive me, but I feel like a black sheep now—or at least one with spots. Amen.
When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown… Isaiah 43:2
Previous Posts
# 77 – 21 Stress Busters
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
# 76 Claustrophobia
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#75 Facial Issues
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#74 Phantom Sounds
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#73 Walk Without Falling
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#72 AN Awareness Week
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
# 71 Hearing Loss
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#70 Understanding Changes
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#69 Is It Growing?
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#68 AN Facebook Group
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#67 Turn Off Anxiety
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#66 Decisions & Stress Busters
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#65 Control and Choices
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#64 Surgeon Questions
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#63 Virtual Education Event
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#62 Three Ways to Connect
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#61 Reminders
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#60 Grocery Shopping
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#59 9 Conversation Hints with Masks
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#58 A New Me & New Ways
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#57 Irritable?
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#56 11 Reasons to Try Chair Yoga
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#55 Hints for the Holiday
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#54 Treatment Ideas for Headaches
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#53 Headaches
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#52 Hyperacusis
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#51 ** 5 Ways to Prevent Falls
Deb Vellines
2/4/2025
#50 Closed Captioning (CC) at the Movies
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#49 Hearing Loss Advice
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#48 Networking8 Networking
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#47 Help Me Hear
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#46 4 YouTube Videos
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#45 Get Connected
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#44 Signia Hearing Aids
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#43 Improving Balance
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#42 Treatment of Depression
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#41 Depression
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#40 ** 7 Ways to Fight Brain Fog
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#39 ** 5 Fatigue Busters
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#38 Tinnitus
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#37 Phonak CROS Hearing Aids
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#36 Hearing Devices
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#35 Single Sided Deafness
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
# 34 Post Treatment
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#33 Treatment
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#32 A Hit Over the Head
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#31 National Symposium
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#30 Knots with Purpose
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#29 A Time to Kill
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#28 A Letter
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#27 Peace With Trust
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#26 Joy is a Choice
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#25 Flat Emotion
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#24 New Thoughts
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#23 Acceptance?
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#22 Help!
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
#21 Crying
Deb Vellines
2/3/2025
# 20 Full Plate
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#19 Concentration
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#18 Worry versus Trust
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#17 For Healing
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#16 Who’s in Control?
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#15 Depression
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
# 13 Doctor (specialist)
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#14 Different Treatments
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#11 Support Group
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
#12 Thank You
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
Step # 10 Questions
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
Step # 9 Bargaining
Deb Vellines
2/2/2025
Step #8 Energy
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
Step # 7 – Reactions – of others
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
Step #6 – Do I share my News?
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
Step #4 – To stay calm waiting for test results
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
Step #5 – Why?
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
Step #3 – Courage – to make an appointment for a test.
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
Step #2 – Wisdom – for the doctor
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
Step #1 – Wisdom – to know when to call the doctor
Deb Vellines
2/1/2025
-->