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Step # 9 Bargaining -

I hope that somewhere deep within me I’m not trying to help others as a way of saying, “Hey, if I’m doing these neat things for other people, doesn’t that count = buy me time?”

Yes, I admit it. I want time. Well, in one way I want time. Sometimes I don’t. I could die in a car accident. That might be easier than dealing with this mess.

Can I wait for treatment? Do I even have to have treatment? Will I have symptoms today? Will my symptoms get worse? Is my tumor growing?

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Have you ever bargained with God?

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Dear God,

I can look back and see how you have been at work in my life. Wish I could look forward and see it. I don’t know what the future holds but I know who holds my future. So many unknowns. But I do know you are in charge. Amen.

The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me. Psalm 138:8